Hi all, sorry it has been so long since I last wrote. believe it or not, lots has happened in the intermission......first, the band Death Valley Murmurs It is no more, folded, funnily enough after I decided I wanted no more to do with it. There were a few occurrences that brought me to this conclusion.
1), our last gig. We promoted the living holy shit out of it, T-shirts, flyers, posters, tried to get out local media interested. About 15 people showed up. This was probably a good thing as I was as paggered as I can be by the time I hit the stage (literally). Half a bottle of Black velvet is not conducive to a good show. The singer was royally trousered also.
Now, how irresponsible and unprofessional, you may say - normally I would agree. However, you have to figure in the unprofessionalism of the Des Moines scene assholes also. First, the club owner. it was supposed to be a night just for us. We had 1 hour 30 of originals, we wanted to get up there, do our thing - we had tried to get a support act but I think there were Beverly Hills 90210 reruns on that night or something so we had no luck with that.
However......Jeremy and I turn up at the club at about 9:15 or so and another band are setting up. What's this? The Albino Spiders, kind of like Marilyn Manson, only more like a stars in their eyes version. So I asked, in my dulcet Fleetwood tones "who the fuck are you? are you opening or something?" they replied that they had no idea. So anyway, turns out, that the club owner had, that night, decided to get an opener that fit with us about as well as a pork pie fits with Osama bin Laden. Great. Then, the - I'm sorry, this is the only way to describe this person - fucking nonce of a sound-man turns up at 11!!!!! to set his gear up.
So, Albino Spiders go on at 11:30, play an hour of screeching car-crash horrific cock-sauce and then we go on, mashed as Lemmy at 12:45. Yes, 12:45. It was completely shit yet vaguely rawk and roll.
2) the singer. yes, he has been likened to a gay pirate. yes, he wears see through skirts. yes, his lyrics are utter mumbo jumbo and his melodies are - well, there aren't any......i can overlook all that. what I can't stand is ATTITUDE. dealing with Brad is like dealing with Axl Rose without the talent. A number of times he has just chewed me out and bitched at me over stuff i have no control over, like gig times, how we sell tix etc. he did NOTHING in the band esp if it cost money.
So, it comes to the point of - why was i bothering? and really, this was the main reason DVM folded - I couldn't be bothered dealing with his shit any more. I wrote some great rock songs that maybe will see the light of day, but it just isn't worth it. It's like endless fighting for nothing.
So I retired. For December anyway..........
January sees me get a Fender Strat. A change of pace and style. My aim is to write the best roots rock alt/country I can and blow some minds in Des Moines with it. I'm also helping an incredibly hot chick out with some Depeche Mode-ish stuff also. She's coming over Sunday 11th to let me hear what she's about.
What I am listening too?
Free - Live
Lynard Skynrd - One More From the Road
Ryan Adams- Gold
Johnny Cash - American IV
Zakk Wylde - Book of Shadows
Jimi Hendrix - Live at Berkley CD2
Led Zeppelin - How The West Was Won
The Show
'The Show' is the baby of our own Jim Doc and Paul Burke, who between them have done this sort of thing before so you are in safe hands. Don't worry these guys are professionals……….or so they say.
What I would like to do is give the biggest thanks to all the people that come down and make The Show what it is. After conversations with Ben (Dennis Hopper Choppers) Dan (sound engineer) Rob (The Proles) Ali (The Pleasure Unit) EVERYONE whose played or been involved have said the same thing.:-
That they haven't been to a place with a more happy, friendly, knowledgeable and appreciate crowd. So I'd like to say a big thank you from all the team at pitch and putt and especially from Jim and myself, you make doing this worthwhile.
As a result we are thinking of putting on a few more bonus nights for you all. Maybe on the Bank Holidays. So keep em' posted! News will as ever be on the website and round the usual East London spots when we decide.
Paul
pitchandputtproductions
pitchandputtproductions
Doc's Domain December 2003
A saint in Sainsbury`s!
My dear, dear people of the Pitch & Puttness, where do I start this months column, at the beginning I guess! Many of you have been in this position before I assume, it's nearing the months end, pasta and carrots for breakfast, lunch and dinner! The only bit of cash you have left is a couple of coins that you want to keep hold of in case the heating gets cut off and you need the coins to vigorously rub together to create fire!
Exaggerations I know, but you kind of understand where I'm coming from, I bet some of you even start smoking roll ups around the 15th/16th of each month? The main reason being,
I'm a fool with money, always have been always will be! But then again I have to spend all my $`s on records to ensure you people have a good time...all the time!
On Saturday evening I strolled down to my local Sainsbury`s knowing full well I had minus money in my back account, took the old cheque book(remember those) with me just in case.
My cupboards were bare and they needing a little filling with the basic essentials!
My items having been zapped, I'm standing at the checkout with a facial _expression that's saying "hello, I've got no money and my card's not going to work!"
The lovely Sainsbury`s lady tells me how much my 10 items or less costs and I hand over my card. She swipes, waits and then says "hello, you've got no money and your card's not going to work!"
Anyway, I pop, punch her in the face and smash everything into a million pieces, Not really, my face burns with embarrassment and I ask if I can pay by cheque?
No, is the answer but for some unknown reason I still write the amount on the cheque!!
So there I am, at the head of an ever growing queue, holding up the whole of Hackney when all of a sudden the guy who has been patiently waiting behind me pipes up(I don't mean in a crackney Hackney sense) and says "there's nothing worse than doing your shopping and not being able to take it home with you" and suggests that I write the cheque out in his name!
Now I'm totally knocked for six with this strangers generosity, but I agree to this rather quickly, I've never known such supermarket heroics!
I can't be bothered to tell you anymore, in a nutshell Mr Robert Keefe saved my bacon and then proceeded to pay for it!
Arise Sir Robert Keefe...we owe you!
Since I was last in your face things have been going well for this slip of a boy!
November 1st saw me back on my old stamping ground at the Trafalgar Tavern down there in "historical" Greenwich, boy, what a night!
Over 200 people bouncing of the walls to some big, big tunes. It was a great feeling playing there and seeing so many old faces unifying to funk under the one roof. The gig went so well that, after one party, I have been booked for the first Saturday of each month for the whole of next year...fierce!
If you're in the area get down there on Saturday 6th December for another crate digging set from yours truly.
Big tunes from recent sets!
WHODINI-THE FREAKS COME OUT. (STILL DOING IT AFTER MORE THAN 20 YEARS, BACK WHEN ELECTRO WAS ELECTRO.)
RED ASTAIRE-FOLLOW ME. ( WICKED USE OF D`ANGELO LYRIC THAT JUST CREEPS UP AND RIPS THE SKIN OF YOUR FACE.)
DR. RUBBERFUNK-BOSSA FOR THE DEVIL. (DOES EXACTLY WHAT IT SAY`S ON THE TIN.)
THE CHI-LITES-ARE YOU MY WOMAN. (ORIGINAL BREAK LIFTED BY THAT FAT BIRD FROM DESTINY`S CHILD FOR HER MASSIVE SUMMER ANTHEM.)
CHIC-CHIC CHEER. (SAMPLE USED TO BRILLIANT EFFECT BY FATMAN SCOOP...HUGE.)
OLIVER CHEATHAM-GET DOWN SATURDAY NIGHT. (C`MON NOW, I DO PLAY ON A SATURDAY NIGHT AND PEOPLE GET DOWN, WE MAY KNOW THIS FROM A CERTAIN DEODORANT ADVERT...I LIKE TO PARTY?)
TEDDY PENDERGRASS-I DON`T LOVE YOU...(RARE GROOVE CLASSIC, REALLY DOING IT.)
HAROLD MELVIN & THE BLUENOTES-THE LOVE I LOST. (WICKED BREAK THAT OUTWEIGHS THE GRIM MESSAGE .)
THE JACKSON SISTERS- I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES. (WOW! ONLY NEEDS ONE WORD!)
SISTER SLEDGE-HE`S THE GREATEST DANCER. (MORE CHIC MAGIC.)
If you like what you read then get yourself down to The Trafalgar Tavern, Greenwich, London on 6th December, 10pm-2am.
&
Grand Central, Great Eastern Street, London on Saturday 13th December, 8pm-12am.
There's fun to be had by one and all, let's rock into Christmas and party until the bells end.
Laters funkerteers.
Patrick Kagoul Notes from the Frontline Part 2
"All I want for Christmas is some masculinity"
……is some masculinity".
I'm scared. Yesterday I found myself at work in the middle of a conversation, well two people were talking to each other with me sat in the middle, involved, but not really contributing. The thing that made me scared was that I understood the conversation fully.
I went away slightly worried only to find later in the evening that the problem was getting worse. Much worse.
The position I found myself in could be the greatest highlight of 'what was going wrong' possible. Alanis Morissette take note, this is what irony really is.
The conversation had been about 'spinning classes' and their benefits, and the different types of celebrity magazines available. Do you know what they are? If you're a girl then the chances are that you do, if you're a boy then the chances should be that you don't. Why would you? And more to the point why do I?
Here's the start of my excuses. I lived with a girl that I really loved, so as a result I actually listened to what she said and cared, rather than making the appropriate noises at the appropriate places. I was interested.
This is nice and caring and I think a good thing. However the flip side of this is that I now know about 'spinning classes' soft furnishings and a whole load of things that to be honest I shouldn't have in my head. I'm pretty convinced that there's only a certain amount of room for knowledge retention in my head and I'm scared as to what is now gone. Probably something masculine, I probably have no idea how to reverse in to a parking space or work a drill.
I went home, slightly worried and knackered, it being a Monday, sat down and too tired to be bothered to do much decided to watch some easy TV. Now here I can make no excuses, I type with one hand raised in admission of blame. There was nothing on, absolutely nothing, I tried a film but it was rubbish so I gave up. I scanned the listings. Repeatedly. I have Sky with all the channels so this was making it worse, how with so much to choose from could there be so little to watch?
So I… watched Friends.
Where had it all gone so wrong? I blamed Sky, I blamed the fact that it fitted in an inoffensive slot in the television scheduling that no one else was bothering to fill. I blamed the fact that I was too tired to switch off my television set and go out and do something less boring instead.
Drinking probably. I had always managed to do this as a child, especially when a bunch of spotty kids came on the television live from some hut in Belfast where they tried to cajole me into turning practical products into rubbish and so forth, so why not as an adult?
I don't know. And here's the pay off. The episode dealt with the male characters becoming too girly by flower arranging and having a female room mate, all with hilarious consequences.
Hilarious to them maybe, but not to me.
Having 'Friends' of all programmes highlighting this fact is too much to bare.
Now maybe I'm over reacting, maybe knowing these things makes me a better person, more rounded. I don't know. My natural instinct says 'no, this is bad'. I feel that, well I feel like I should immediately start drinking, watch some sport, preferably boxing, and then maybe go out and have a fight, come home and make something useful with power tools. Maybe a spot of hunting and / or gathering.
Is this normal? I don't know.
I wanted to discuss with my flat mate immediately, unfortunately he was studying. I was pretty certain he'd know what to do. Neither of us ever get in too much trouble, but I'd say that both of us can drink a fair amount and would both be fairly useful if we were in a situation of a fight. He'd know what to do. No one who'd watch 'Clockwork Orange'' that many times could fall foul of this. I waited till he finally emerged from his studying.
'Is there anything on the telly? Any Friends on?'
If you want me I'll be in the pub. Starting a fight.
Patrick Kagoul.
Soon to be Patty Kagoul.
……is some masculinity".
I'm scared. Yesterday I found myself at work in the middle of a conversation, well two people were talking to each other with me sat in the middle, involved, but not really contributing. The thing that made me scared was that I understood the conversation fully.
I went away slightly worried only to find later in the evening that the problem was getting worse. Much worse.
The position I found myself in could be the greatest highlight of 'what was going wrong' possible. Alanis Morissette take note, this is what irony really is.
The conversation had been about 'spinning classes' and their benefits, and the different types of celebrity magazines available. Do you know what they are? If you're a girl then the chances are that you do, if you're a boy then the chances should be that you don't. Why would you? And more to the point why do I?
Here's the start of my excuses. I lived with a girl that I really loved, so as a result I actually listened to what she said and cared, rather than making the appropriate noises at the appropriate places. I was interested.
This is nice and caring and I think a good thing. However the flip side of this is that I now know about 'spinning classes' soft furnishings and a whole load of things that to be honest I shouldn't have in my head. I'm pretty convinced that there's only a certain amount of room for knowledge retention in my head and I'm scared as to what is now gone. Probably something masculine, I probably have no idea how to reverse in to a parking space or work a drill.
I went home, slightly worried and knackered, it being a Monday, sat down and too tired to be bothered to do much decided to watch some easy TV. Now here I can make no excuses, I type with one hand raised in admission of blame. There was nothing on, absolutely nothing, I tried a film but it was rubbish so I gave up. I scanned the listings. Repeatedly. I have Sky with all the channels so this was making it worse, how with so much to choose from could there be so little to watch?
So I… watched Friends.
Where had it all gone so wrong? I blamed Sky, I blamed the fact that it fitted in an inoffensive slot in the television scheduling that no one else was bothering to fill. I blamed the fact that I was too tired to switch off my television set and go out and do something less boring instead.
Drinking probably. I had always managed to do this as a child, especially when a bunch of spotty kids came on the television live from some hut in Belfast where they tried to cajole me into turning practical products into rubbish and so forth, so why not as an adult?
I don't know. And here's the pay off. The episode dealt with the male characters becoming too girly by flower arranging and having a female room mate, all with hilarious consequences.
Hilarious to them maybe, but not to me.
Having 'Friends' of all programmes highlighting this fact is too much to bare.
Now maybe I'm over reacting, maybe knowing these things makes me a better person, more rounded. I don't know. My natural instinct says 'no, this is bad'. I feel that, well I feel like I should immediately start drinking, watch some sport, preferably boxing, and then maybe go out and have a fight, come home and make something useful with power tools. Maybe a spot of hunting and / or gathering.
Is this normal? I don't know.
I wanted to discuss with my flat mate immediately, unfortunately he was studying. I was pretty certain he'd know what to do. Neither of us ever get in too much trouble, but I'd say that both of us can drink a fair amount and would both be fairly useful if we were in a situation of a fight. He'd know what to do. No one who'd watch 'Clockwork Orange'' that many times could fall foul of this. I waited till he finally emerged from his studying.
'Is there anything on the telly? Any Friends on?'
If you want me I'll be in the pub. Starting a fight.
Patrick Kagoul.
Soon to be Patty Kagoul.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)