2003 End Of the Year Poll

Ahh, remember 2003? Happy Days.... Anyway, here's what the Pitch and Putt friends thought of '03.

The Harbinger


album of the year -Now That's What I Call Music Vol 56 . Just a great digest of everything. Vital, really.


single of the year - So Much for the City -The Thrills. Slow soul building to a crescendo of African Hi-life. Interminable.


film of the year - Haven't seen a good film since 'Best In Show [2000]. Donnie Darko was exceptional though.


tv programme of the year - The Morrissey Documentary shown on C4 this summer.


gig of the year - Friday 28th November. Justin Sarple at the White Horse. Forget the words, forget the music - just play, it's the process that matters.


event of the year - the birth of HRH Prince Edward's daughter. Beard gives birth to moustache.


website of the year - erm, this one.


person of the year - HM Queen Elizabeth II, winner last year and next.


book of the year - For me, the OS Map of the area around Ashwell in the Chiltern Hills has been invaluable. Saved my life in the failing evening on more than one occasion.


sporting event of the year - Stevenage Borough 3 Farnborough Town 1. Had everything. Goals. 3 bookings. 11 corners!!!!!!!!! Unforgettable.

Amy


album of the year - Just about every new album I bought this year has been a shitey let down (I'm especially looking at you Billy Corgan, you baldy bastard)

single/song of the year - One Horse Town by The Thrills, although my stereo must be fucked as if I play their album it just seems to be this one song on repeat (see above)

film of the year - Donnie Darko . I enjoyed Secretary too - the acceptable face of RomCom. If only my boss was like that.

tv programme of the year - The Shield. The TV show Heartbeat could have been.

gig of the year - I must confess I only went to one gig this year which was British Sea Power . They were pretty good - and you got free Mint Cake.

event of the year - Thora Hird sticks her Stanna on the stairway to heaven.

non-event of the year - Corries 'gay' story. I can't be the only person who'd love to see Adam Ricketts getting a bumrape.

website of the year - P&P Productions, of course.......Despite their frequent spelling mistakes and use of Capital Letters For Every Fucking Word (what was your degree in again John?)

person of the year - Comedy villain Richard Hillman. The You & Me Song isn't what I'd choose to soundtrack my own killing spree but anyone who removes Tracy Shaw's boney anorexic arse from my screen is OK by me.

book of the year - Quimby the Mouse , funny AND depressing, what more could you want. (I have to say thanks to you John for this)

sporting event of the year - Carlisle's one win of the season. Good move getting rid of Roddy too. Jesus Christ, they'll be playing Fleetwood soon if they're not careful.



Sam Beckwith

album of the year: Either The Violet Hour by The Clientele or It Takes a Nation of Tossers by Pitman

film of the year: American Splendor

single of the year: "Crabstycks Theme" by The Crabstycks.


gig of the year : The Flaming Lips, Palac Akropolis, Prague

sporting event of the year: Rochdale knocking Coventry out of the FA Cup.

Ian Thorp

album of the year - Eels - Shootenanny! - all class

single of the year- Molotov -El Frijolero - Mexican punk


film of the year - Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind [2002] mind or Kodak Gold ASA400


tv programme of the year - Anything on a different channel when Pop Idol's on.


gig of the year - Saturday night at the Marillion convention


event of the year - I quite like the Edinburgh tattoo


website of the year - oh Lordy http://www.localadultfun.co.uk/lancashire-swingers/sex-contacts-bispham.html


Person of the year- Colonel Saunders


book of the year - Film - Sean Condon


sporting event of the year - The Grand Prix's being better

John Crewdson

album of the year: Grandaddy Sumday

gig of the year: Polyphonic Spree - i know i said Radiohead had some jaw dropping moments, but they also had a few dull ones. The Spree was jaw dropping from start to finish.

film of the year: Kill Bill

tv programme of the yea State Of Play -John Simm's Gripping Drama

single of the year-: Either 'Got You in My Dream, by Frenchy Barth (I've only heard it twice on the radio but its 'kin ace; buy on sight). Bandages by Hot Hot Heat or Shopliftin' Gabba by Shitmat.


website of the year www.golfharris.com (of course).



Paul Burke


album of the year - Bruce Lietzke - Golf Harris, so good they should prescribe it as an anti depressant, but then again I'm biased.


single of the year - Crazy in Love - Beyonce


film of the year - Amelie i know it's from 2001 but it's still the best film I've seen all year, also 'igby goes down' no not porn, but a comedy so dark it was probably conceived in a power cut, like the The Royal Tenenbaums or 'The Catcher in the Rye' brilliant.


gig of the year- half man half biscuit they came on and i started smiling, finished smiling 3 days later, great fun.


event of the year- norman jay - good times at the Notting hill carnival - 1500 people dancing in the streets, did exactly what it said on the tin.


Person of the year- Clive Woodward, masterminded one over on the Aussies, got to love him for that.




Patrick Kagoul


album of the year- Glass Onion: The Songs of the Beatles - from the Altantic and Warner Jazz vaults, Ella, Aretha, Little Richard and even Bill Cosby, yes that Cosby tackle some of the best songs ever in a funky stylie.


single of the year- Bandages - Hot, Hot, Heat, still singing it now, perfect pop.


film of the year- City of God, was this 2003? dunno but loved it the Brazillian Goodfellas, well more like Once upon a time in Brazil!


gig of the year: - Frank Black, the fat blokes still got it.


event of the year- the Rugby World cup, started not bothered about rugby finished lovin it.


Kid Kordial


album of the year - Has to be Glass Onion: - Beatles covers in funk and jazz style, what more could you want?


single of the year- are you ready for John? - Elton. Made himself cool and hated it at first but at carnival couldn't get enough of it. Weird.


film of the year- Welcome to Collinwood - well funny check it out.


gig of the year - 'OH' at the White Horse in Brixton in March the Brothers Doc having it supersized. le belgique anyone?


event of the year - Heptathlon.


Person of the year- - Norman Jay MBE




Justin Sparkle

album of the year -Strays - Janes Addiction


single of the year-Hey Ya - Outkast and the best video too!


gig of the year - Janes Addiction on Halloween


event of the year - Rugby world cup!

Doc's Domain December 2003


A saint in Sainsbury`s!
My dear, dear people of the Pitch & Puttness, where do I start this months column, at the beginning I guess! Many of you have been in this position before I assume, it's nearing the months end, pasta and carrots for breakfast, lunch and dinner! The only bit of cash you have left is a couple of coins that you want to keep hold of in case the heating gets cut off and you need the coins to vigorously rub together to create fire!

Exaggerations I know, but you kind of understand where I'm coming from, I bet some of you even start smoking roll ups around the 15th/16th of each month? The main reason being,
I'm a fool with money, always have been always will be! But then again I have to spend all my $`s on records to ensure you people have a good time...all the time!

On Saturday evening I strolled down to my local Sainsbury`s knowing full well I had minus money in my back account, took the old cheque book(remember those) with me just in case.
My cupboards were bare and they needing a little filling with the basic essentials!
My items having been zapped, I'm standing at the checkout with a facial _expression that's saying "hello, I've got no money and my card's not going to work!"
The lovely Sainsbury`s lady tells me how much my 10 items or less costs and I hand over my card. She swipes, waits and then says "hello, you've got no money and your card's not going to work!"

Anyway, I pop, punch her in the face and smash everything into a million pieces, Not really, my face burns with embarrassment and I ask if I can pay by cheque?
No, is the answer but for some unknown reason I still write the amount on the cheque!!
So there I am, at the head of an ever growing queue, holding up the whole of Hackney when all of a sudden the guy who has been patiently waiting behind me pipes up(I don't mean in a crackney Hackney sense) and says "there's nothing worse than doing your shopping and not being able to take it home with you" and suggests that I write the cheque out in his name!

Now I'm totally knocked for six with this strangers generosity, but I agree to this rather quickly, I've never known such supermarket heroics!
I can't be bothered to tell you anymore, in a nutshell Mr Robert Keefe saved my bacon and then proceeded to pay for it!
Arise Sir Robert Keefe...we owe you!

Since I was last in your face things have been going well for this slip of a boy!
November 1st saw me back on my old stamping ground at the Trafalgar Tavern down there in "historical" Greenwich, boy, what a night!
Over 200 people bouncing of the walls to some big, big tunes. It was a great feeling playing there and seeing so many old faces unifying to funk under the one roof. The gig went so well that, after one party, I have been booked for the first Saturday of each month for the whole of next year...fierce!

If you're in the area get down there on Saturday 6th December for another crate digging set from yours truly.

Big tunes from recent sets!

WHODINI-THE FREAKS COME OUT. (STILL DOING IT AFTER MORE THAN 20 YEARS, BACK WHEN ELECTRO WAS ELECTRO.)

RED ASTAIRE-FOLLOW ME. ( WICKED USE OF D`ANGELO LYRIC THAT JUST CREEPS UP AND RIPS THE SKIN OF YOUR FACE.)

DR. RUBBERFUNK-BOSSA FOR THE DEVIL. (DOES EXACTLY WHAT IT SAY`S ON THE TIN.)

THE CHI-LITES-ARE YOU MY WOMAN. (ORIGINAL BREAK LIFTED BY THAT FAT BIRD FROM DESTINY`S CHILD FOR HER MASSIVE SUMMER ANTHEM.)

CHIC-CHIC CHEER. (SAMPLE USED TO BRILLIANT EFFECT BY FATMAN SCOOP...HUGE.)

OLIVER CHEATHAM-GET DOWN SATURDAY NIGHT. (C`MON NOW, I DO PLAY ON A SATURDAY NIGHT AND PEOPLE GET DOWN, WE MAY KNOW THIS FROM A CERTAIN DEODORANT ADVERT...I LIKE TO PARTY?)

TEDDY PENDERGRASS-I DON`T LOVE YOU...(RARE GROOVE CLASSIC, REALLY DOING IT.)

HAROLD MELVIN & THE BLUENOTES-THE LOVE I LOST. (WICKED BREAK THAT OUTWEIGHS THE GRIM MESSAGE .)

THE JACKSON SISTERS- I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES. (WOW! ONLY NEEDS ONE WORD!)

SISTER SLEDGE-HE`S THE GREATEST DANCER. (MORE CHIC MAGIC.)

If you like what you read then get yourself down to The Trafalgar Tavern, Greenwich, London on 6th December, 10pm-2am.
&
Grand Central, Great Eastern Street, London on Saturday 13th December, 8pm-12am.

There's fun to be had by one and all, let's rock into Christmas and party until the bells end.

Laters funkerteers.

Patrick Kagoul Notes from the Frontline Part 2

"All I want for Christmas is some masculinity"

……is some masculinity".
I'm scared. Yesterday I found myself at work in the middle of a conversation, well two people were talking to each other with me sat in the middle, involved, but not really contributing. The thing that made me scared was that I understood the conversation fully.
I went away slightly worried only to find later in the evening that the problem was getting worse. Much worse.

The position I found myself in could be the greatest highlight of 'what was going wrong' possible. Alanis Morissette take note, this is what irony really is.

The conversation had been about 'spinning classes' and their benefits, and the different types of celebrity magazines available. Do you know what they are? If you're a girl then the chances are that you do, if you're a boy then the chances should be that you don't. Why would you? And more to the point why do I?
Here's the start of my excuses. I lived with a girl that I really loved, so as a result I actually listened to what she said and cared, rather than making the appropriate noises at the appropriate places. I was interested.

This is nice and caring and I think a good thing. However the flip side of this is that I now know about 'spinning classes' soft furnishings and a whole load of things that to be honest I shouldn't have in my head. I'm pretty convinced that there's only a certain amount of room for knowledge retention in my head and I'm scared as to what is now gone. Probably something masculine, I probably have no idea how to reverse in to a parking space or work a drill.

I went home, slightly worried and knackered, it being a Monday, sat down and too tired to be bothered to do much decided to watch some easy TV. Now here I can make no excuses, I type with one hand raised in admission of blame. There was nothing on, absolutely nothing, I tried a film but it was rubbish so I gave up. I scanned the listings. Repeatedly. I have Sky with all the channels so this was making it worse, how with so much to choose from could there be so little to watch?

So I… watched Friends.
Where had it all gone so wrong? I blamed Sky, I blamed the fact that it fitted in an inoffensive slot in the television scheduling that no one else was bothering to fill. I blamed the fact that I was too tired to switch off my television set and go out and do something less boring instead.
Drinking probably. I had always managed to do this as a child, especially when a bunch of spotty kids came on the television live from some hut in Belfast where they tried to cajole me into turning practical products into rubbish and so forth, so why not as an adult?

I don't know. And here's the pay off. The episode dealt with the male characters becoming too girly by flower arranging and having a female room mate, all with hilarious consequences.
Hilarious to them maybe, but not to me.

Having 'Friends' of all programmes highlighting this fact is too much to bare.

Now maybe I'm over reacting, maybe knowing these things makes me a better person, more rounded. I don't know. My natural instinct says 'no, this is bad'. I feel that, well I feel like I should immediately start drinking, watch some sport, preferably boxing, and then maybe go out and have a fight, come home and make something useful with power tools. Maybe a spot of hunting and / or gathering.
Is this normal? I don't know.

I wanted to discuss with my flat mate immediately, unfortunately he was studying. I was pretty certain he'd know what to do. Neither of us ever get in too much trouble, but I'd say that both of us can drink a fair amount and would both be fairly useful if we were in a situation of a fight. He'd know what to do. No one who'd watch 'Clockwork Orange'' that many times could fall foul of this. I waited till he finally emerged from his studying.

'Is there anything on the telly? Any Friends on?'

If you want me I'll be in the pub. Starting a fight.


Patrick Kagoul.
Soon to be Patty Kagoul.