Ian Thorp reports from sunny Singapore

I'm at a conference in Singapore paid for by a vendor. Five days in swanky hotel with a continuous stream of presentations on how to sell more of this vendor's equipment.

I'm not a salesman never have been. Despite that fact that the company I work is exclusively interested in making wads of cash I like to at least delude myself that my job is working for the 'greater good'- not sure for instance how helping a company rip up great tracts of land to get to the minerals below is for the greater good, but as I said - I like to delude myself.

However when the first presenter said in the first couple of minutes said '…and that will help you to make more money and after all that is what we are all here for' made me feel rather sick.

There are 500 Unix and sales people here so it's a really great fun crowd I feel like I'm Edward Norton in Fight Club when he starts going nuts in meetings, I keep getting the urge to stand up and abuse these people.

Staying at the Shangri-La apparently one of the best spots in town, its not bad, apparently it has 16 acres of gardens and a top swimming pool, not that I've had chance to enjoy them as I've been stuck inside listening to presentations on stuff I really couldn't give a monkeys about. I wake up in the morning and I'm in Lost in Translation as I open my electric curtains and stare out over a foreign city. Just to add to that feeling of disconnection from the real world the carpet in the lift has the day woven into it. I wonder who's idea it was to weave 'Tuesday' into the carpet - just in case I haven't switched the TV or read the complimentary.

One good thing is the free beer, its amazing what we will do for free beer, I was willing go to the opening of packet of crisps (not cheese and onion) if there is free beer and its not like I can't afford to buy the stuff myself - although when you're in Singapore and its US$20 a litre I'm not so sure.

Escaped the geeks and salesmen and ventured out for beer - I don't remember Singapore being quite as dodgy last time around. Also got the impression the local men are not very skilled in the kitchen -talking to one chap who'd lost a finger and when I asked him how he said it'd been with a carving knife -they really need to be more careful as I saw several guys in there with same injury maybe P&P need to expand into cooking schools for men.

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