Amelie (2001)
Tuck your napkin in, your about to feast - Jason 'Voodoo Rea.
Quite simply a delight, one of the best films I've seen, ever, I challenge anyone to watch this and not feel moved. This film is chocked full of brilliant quotes and wonderful understanding of life. "Luck is like the Tour de France, you wait and it flashes past you, you have to catch it while you can" The French do this and we do 4 weddings......erm. magnifique! A film so wonderful it will make you feel a better person afterwards, not many films do that. PB
The Italian Job (2003)
Why?
I finally succumbed to watching this as I had feared that it was yet another mindless remake, butchering yet another great film. Well I'm pleased to say that it isn't. Not quite. Why they called it 'The Italian Job' is beyond me as it bears very little resemblance to the original.
The story is completely different. It has minis (new ones not the originals, how apt), characters called Charlie Croker, Bridger, and a gridlock caused by changing the traffic lights but that's about it. Even the bits in Italy are set in Venice not Turin.
For these reasons I quite enjoyed it, it's not bad. Ed Norton wanders around looking like he's been forced to play a stereotypical baddie, (he was, contractually by the studio, so he subsequently refused to promote it), and I have to question whether Marky Mark has the star quality to play a stand alone lead. Michael Caine he ain't - and I think that that about sums it up. It's not the Italian job, it's a rather pail imitation, not quite a homage, not quite good enough. Nice idea, but watch the original. Now that is brilliant. PB
Bad Boys 2 (2003)
'Woah, cool stuff blows up, woah'. Does exactly what it says on the tin. Bruckheimer comes ever closer in his ultimate goal to make a film a 2 hour trailer of itself. All the stereotypes are here: buddy cops - check, angry boss - check, disregard for rules - check, great scenery - check, beautiful women - check, ruthless criminals - check, fast cars - check, drugs are bad - check, in particular ecstasy, how 1988, Americans hey?
Whilst on the topic of Americans it's the nasty anti-Cuban sentiments that spoil this film. It bobs along nicely asking nothing of you but clap at the explosions then it comes down with all the lack of subtlety of say, a Bruckheimer film for example of aren't Cubans evil. This culminates in a final scene at Guantanamo Bay, yes that's the place in Cuba that America takes people without a trial and locks them up with no reason and keeps them there indefinitely contradicting all human rights.
But you see that's Ok as it's done by Americans and they're the heroes and they Police the world and they're only looking after our best interests. If they want to show real heroes then maybe they should do a film about people that are trying to campaign to get people out of these prisons and back to there loved ones.
We here at Pitch and Putt are big fans of El Presidente and say don't, I say, don't - don't - don't - believe - the- hype, in fact don't bother with this nasty piece of mindless brain candy that turns into more filthy untrue propaganda. You can do better; watch paint dry. PB
Equilibrium (2002)
A Pitch and Putt 'I watched 10 minutes of this and went and did something more interesting instead' review.
The plot: in the future we are bored in to submission, I acquiesced.
To prepare. You will need 1 rugged Sheffield actor. One son of Dr Who And one American Psycho.
Take a Fahrenheit 451, mix in a slice of Logan's Run, add to a large 1984.
Bring to the boil, then add a portion of Brave New World, sprinkle heavily with The Matrix. Serve lukewarm.
Leave.
PB
War of the Worlds (2005)
Spring is the same for everyone and famous directors are no exception to the rule of cleaning. As such Mr. Spielberg is on an enforced clean of the house by 'her in doors' stumbles across a piece of paper he thought long lost.
His 'how to make a successful film' sheet, scribbled on the back of a beer mat.
" Show breakdown of the nuclear family that is resolved in the face of overwhelming odds. "
Aliens - cute or dangerous - alternate for effect!
" Set it in 50's America, or something resembling that, to re address the core family values. "
Show innocence in face of terror - through the eyes of a small child, girl, blonde ideally, signifying most innocence per square inch. Get to scream a lot, like audience!
" Main character finds inner strength to be hero through massive adversity, overcoming through struggle. "
Blow stuff up.
With found sheet safely in grasp Mr. S sets off to follow old pattern and make great Spielberg film. Overall - Spielberg does Spielberg better than anyone, and he doesn't even have to feel the need to explain the plot to the audience every 5 minutes for once, which is a blessing. Although I think there may be a few people who didn't follow the ending.
For those people the tiny things they show that defeats the aliens, that's tiny particles of Tom Cruises sweat. Look out for DVD extras- They include shots of the Aliens trying to take over Britain and failing miserably after being taunted mercilessly as 'soft' and 'yer green Bastards' and made to drink strong continental lager. PB
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