"Day 26 and Kagoul still hasn't slept."
Reality television, hey? Call me old fashioned but I like my so called celebrities to be able to do something. Possibly to have gained fame for some actual hard work or talent; is this too much to ask? I know I'm being unreasonable, aren't I? We live in some sort of Warholian nightmare scenario, useless nobodies cueing up one after the next of these fucking pituitary retard whores demanding their 15 minutes of fame, like it's some God Given right just because they want it, everyone of them sucking satans cock. Then when their 15 minutes are up, clinging desperately with bloodied fingernails to the last scraps of attention, "look at me, look at me," dignity long since sold up the river, if it ever existed.
Even famous people will now do anything to keep some form of grasp on their dwindling popularity, these media whores have not one ounce of pride or self esteem. They would sell their first born if it meant the slightest chance of rekindling their fleeting taste of fame. The problem is if you are famous for nothing, you have no purpose or talent then you have no re-saleable value. So when the time is up you have no way back.
Well I've had enough. I'm going on Big Brother.
I have a plan: ignore everyone but not to sleep at any point, this way I'll get to have the conch shell, I'll be the leader, I'll be the one who gets to stick the pig. As I hate these desperate self promoting swines I will have nothing to do with them and there comments will be met with my vitriol. Won't this mean that I am as bad as they are? Well no. Why? Well, it just won't. My planning to not sleep will bring about some interesting viewing and am hoping by day 26 all manner of japes will have taken place, all with of course hilarious consequences.
"Day 26 and Kagoul still hasn't slept, he seems to be building some form of small fort and constantly muttering to himself, seemingly about shells and pigs. There are no pigs in the big brother house so it seems a bit strange. Now he's going into the kitchen, he seems to be choosing larger and larger knives, settling on a large carving knife, he's started laughing uncontrollably and now talking about a shell. He's heading for the bedrooms……"
Oh how we laughed, especially on the extended coverage for angry loners, insomniacs and the truly desperate. Press red now to stop me.
Patrick Kagoul
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