Pitch & Putt Debate

Welcome to the first national Pitch & Putt Debate. In the Red corner: Pitch & Putt Man Of The People, Jamie 'Citizen' Bell, in the Blue corner: The Harbinger -Voice Of The Establishment. Jimmy Doc, Patrick Kagoul and The Editor stick their two-penneth in too. Ding Ding Round One…..
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this debate are those of the contributors and not those of Pitch and Putt Magazine. If any one is offended then we apologise and would like to suggest that you stop being so fucking soft and deal with the issues in your own life before complaining.


J Bell:
Steaming in for a late shot at Pitch & Putt person of the year, I would like to
say that Benjamin Zephaniah is the one. For not only refusing the OBE,
but by going public with his reasons he's struck a blow for humanity at
last in this god-forsaken land. His principled stance is an example to
us all and the tragic death of his cousin (whilst in Police "custody")
needs to be investigated and the perpetrators brought to justice. Also,
to the person who thought to nominate him, are you really stupid enough
to think that you could buy this man's silence by giving a colonial
award? And what possessed you to nominate him the first place when you
know damn well his political outlook and his recent campaigns against
the Iraq 'War'? The words red flag and bull spring to mind.
Benjamin Zephaniah - P&P Person of the Year.




The Harbinger:
To refuse the 'Order', is an act of stupid stupid folly. The interiors
of Buckingham Palace are an absolute treat. Wonderful state rooms and
regency opulence. The whole ceremony is a wonderful affirmation of what
it is to be part of the British Establishment. To be Benjamin Zephaniah
OBE is to no longer be the oppressed, but the oppressor. He can keep
slaves, and no longer be one.

And the Queen often does the ceremony bra-less.


Jim Doc:
I vote for Gerry Adams & Martin McGuiness, one looks like a geography teacher and the other like a clown without the make-up!

J Bell:

Betty bra-less? Urrrghhhhhh perish the thought. I'll bet that pose is on
page 3 everyday for the Scum-readers in Hell. As for an act of folly,
well all I can say to that is, to quote the man himself: "The award is
a colonial thing that reminds of the enslavement of my fore-fathers and
the mass rapes of women throughout those times. To accept it is to
embrace and legitimise slavery and I refuse to do that."


The Harbinger:
MBE's legitimise mass-rapes. OBE's do not. Let's just get that clear.

J Bell:

This is just a sober reflection of the FACT that manycities in this country (especially Bristol, Liverpool, Manchester, Preston,Carlisle and Glasgow) all benefited heavily from the slave trade. To ignore this is a classic example of the selective history that the powers that be want us lessermortals to engage in. So long as we continue with this Emu-history, we will never truly understand why every country enjoys beating us at anything, more than they enjoy victories over other countries, and why they hate us so much. The
monarchy is a throw back to these "good old days" of colonialism when "Britain ruled the world"and I for one feel totally sickened by it all. The sooner we put them up forinternational auction to the highest bidder the better. Then perhaps we might make
some money from them for a change.

The Harbinger:
Get a CBE and you can pillage, park in disabled spaces, actively
enslave
people and sell them. But an OBE is fine. He should stop being such a
joyless party-pooper.

Patrick Kagoul:
Where's your sense of national pride, fuck me you're talking like a bloody foreigner. That's not the attitude that saved our boys in ww2 at Dunkirk when the Hun was marauding his way through Europe. Look what happens when we let countries rule themselves, America, Australia they're like unruly teenagers who need to still be controlled by their strict parents.
It's in the past let it go.


J Bell:

If you're trying to engage my national pride, you'll have a long wait coz I don't have any. I had no say whatsoever about where my parents decided to fornicate and as I am a direct result of that being in England, I guess that makes me English, along with all the meatheads and BNP members with whom I wish to completely disassociate myself from. I see myself as a human being and nationality as a fraud and a sham. To be proud of one's 'nation' is exactly how big brother wants me to behave, so to that I say swivel. I'll make it up as I go along.



The Editor (Has The Final Word):

I saw a letter in the Radio Times the other week, praising the current crop of 'war time' related programs and documentaries -the writer said it was good to see programs about 'heroes' instead of the young 'hooligans' who appear on programmes like 'Big Brother'.
Hmmm. And that's the generation that made abortions and homosexuality illegal and gave us Apartheid, Nazism, Communism, and the Bomb.

Hooligans?





Update 29.11.2003

Clare Gibb:

Whilst we are on the subject of fact and selective history, Mr Bell, a few notes:

·The African tribes were trading slaves with each other long before the white man set foot in sub-Saharan Africa. I put it to you that Mr Zephaniah is being selective with his history. This does not abnegate the British from entering into the slave trade, but equally, it cannot be argued that we were the ones to start it.

· Leaving aside the rights and wrongs of colonialism, of all the colonialists, the British were by far and away the best. When we are asked to leave we generally did. We left these countries with an infrastructure, a legal system and democracy. Compare that to the experience in the Belgian Congo, where the Belgians maimed and murdered their way out, or Algeria, where the French government actively went to war with its subjects and you will see my point.

· The fact that so many of our ex-colonies are keen to remain members of the Commonwealth does not smack of a hated nation. Where is the German Commonwealth? Where is the Belgian one? Our ex-colonies could easily tell us to bog off, and yet they have chosen not to. Indeed, it is seen as a punishment to be excluded, as is witnessed by Zimbabwe's expulsion thanks to that murdering, pillaging bastard Mugabe.

· Mr Zephaniah speaks of "the mass rapes of women throughout these times". Two notes: firstly, he does not offer any proof of his implicit assertion that it was the whites that did this; secondly, is he really arguing that the blacks would not countenance such a thing - because the Tutsis behaved impeccably towards the Hutus with great respect for life, freedom and liberty, didn't they?

· We got out of Africa because they asked us to go. They can't stand there whining because we don't go back and sort it out when they fuck it up. I have been to Kenya and it is an amazing country. There is hope there now, but the years of corruption under arap Moi were entirely the fault of the opposition parties who were just as corrupt. At some point people have to take responsibility for themselves. They fucked up. They must sort it out. Thankfully it looks like they may have in Kenya.

Mr Bell does have a point though. There are two aspects of the third world that, as human beings, we are in a position to and have a moral obligation to sort out. Rich first world countries should cancel the debt. Bush cancelled $25 million of debt, equivalent to one day's interest for the third world. A pretty poor effort I would say. Secondly, the first world governments need to start paying attention to the fact that HIV infection rates in sub-Saharan Africa are hitting the 90% mark.



Rant over. On the bright side, like the web page.