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The Pitch & Putt Pitch

"Hey! You! Mr. Producer- here' some remakes for ya (seeing as your too busy tooting dust to make something original ya bastard!)."

Kill Roy - A daytime chat show descends into bloody violence. (Contains Chop Sockky).

Yo! Seventh Seal - a modern remake spoken entirely in 'Jive'.

Sleeping With The Bellamy - a steamy sex thriller set in the world of environmentalism.

Lorraine Kelly's Heroes - GMTV presenters and Nazis.

W.H.Smith Goes To Washington - life-affirming political intrigue in the stationery business.

Ice Cold In Alex - life-affirming screwball nercophiliac rom-com.

Dr. Dre-vargo - hip-hop version of the Russian epic.

The Dead Pool - with Michael Barrymore.

Yeast is Yeast - microbrewery capers.

Laurence of Arabica -Technicolor homoerotica set in the coffee business.

Jumble Fever - the W.I. get down in the 'hood'.

Three Colours: Brown - very dull remake.

Heavens, Gates! - being the comedy mishaps of the Microsoft CEO.

The T'ing - West Indian remake of the horror classic.

Shit Cargo! - glossy depression-era set musical in which dazzling cinematography is burdened with the task of carrying the films three woefully untalented co-stars.

The Patient English - a cine-verite treatment of queuing

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